Sometimes it’s calculated manipulation of your reality so that you feel forever indebted, guilty, and scrambling to do “what’s right” for your partner. Nothing will be right. You should not have to live for the moments he says “thank you” or praises something so mundane as cooking dinner for your family, like it’s the greatest accomplishment of your life. It is wrong for him to treat you like a pawn in his game of “me”.
How many times have you hear that, " NICE GUYS FINISH LAST"? In my case I feel that way. When I was in high school my female friends use you to always tell me that I was to nice. I heard them but, I didn't really change who I am. I've always been that guy who busted his butt to make others happy. It's taken me years to realize that because of that some people, not all, take advantage of that. They will talk to me any ole kind of way knowing that I'm to nice to say anything back unless I get really pissed off. Everyday when I wake up I feel broken and the only way to cope is keep to myself.
My career though keeps me going because I love what I do. I love helping people and seeing smiles on there faces. One of the greatest feelings is knowing you made an impact in someone else's life or made there day. But, in doing that you can get lost and forget to do the same for yourself. There again you become a sponge for pain, mental abuse, and more. Some people just have a strong personality and don;t realize what there doing. Others know what there doing and do nothing to change how they are. You can stay in there lives for a long time and then they think its normal. Its normal until you snap and then they try and twist it on you as if you need to be on med's or you need to go to the gym or etc. Others can't even understand what you feel because they have no feelings.
I recently had to admit that this is how I'm feeling and now I'm in the process of putting a bandaid on my wounds to try and repair myself. If you see me and I'm distant, I'm not trying to be an a hole I'm just in recovery like an addict. I share this with you because I know I'm not alone and everyday is like a lesson. One thing I've learned in the last month is to set boundaries and not to let anyone cross them.
To be continued ~ Bushman
Bullying: "the use of force, threat, or coercion to abuse, intimidate, or aggressively dominate others. Mental abuse The behavior is often repeated and habitual. One essential prerequisite is the perception, by the bully or by others, of an imbalance of social or physical power, which distinguishes bullying from conflict."
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One thing that annoys me is when someone will ask me for something but, can't even say hi. #Boundaries
Don’t call it love if they hurt you and you excuse it. Call it infatuation, Codependency, enabling, denial or love addiction. Yes, we are commanded to love others AS WE LOVE ourself BUT what most of us confuse is that in this commandment is the COMMAND to love the SELF FIRST. We are NOT supposed to allow or tolerate or confuse LOVE with abuse, disregard, verbal assaults, gaslighting, minimizing, or discard. ONLY when we are able to LOVE ourselves purely AND only when we are able to leave behind those who abuse us are we obeying the commandment to love others as we live ourselves. IF you wouldn’t say or do the things to others that are being done to you——then others are breaking the commandment to love others as they live themselves—-BUT—-then again——so are you. Only when your cup is full of love for the self can you ever operate from a place of authentic love. Pain is not love. Be clear.