Hey boo! Let’s have a lil chat. I'm sure you read the title so let me take a second to clarify I'm nobody's guru, sensei, or Iyanla "coming to fix a life." I'm just a believer in the power of learning about life though observation. Even if the life you are observing isn’t your own. Does that sound weird? Ah well anyway... I was doing a self-audit yesterday mulling through, thinking a lot about the different things and experiences these 20 some years have brought and what it's all taught me. Here are 3 little lessons that stuck out to me. Take it all as you will, maybe it will help you along your life’s journey or maybe it'll give you a good laugh. Either way I love you!
Hustle a lil Harder. Shine a Lil Brighter,
1. Consistency is key, Sis!
Life is a lot about rhythm and finding yours. I found that with every great thing that I've achieved at the base there was a level of consistency . A lot of people have said "Wow, You're so lucky you work in radio." But none of the successes of my career have come by luck, before I ever made this my 9-5 I hosted my own college radio. A small little show on one day a week that I dedicated and blocked of time for weekly. Every week I sought out guest, I did research; I learned more about my craft. I made sacrifices. If you want a thing bad enough stay consistent.
2. Me before You is ok.
If you’re like me you may have been infected with what I like to call the "kindness cooties." A case of the KC's is a bad mamma jamma; symptoms include but are not limited to: the over extension of one’s self and services without compensation or equal reciprocity, consistently shifting one's schedule to accommodate the lives of others, and at times sacrificing one’s own health to protect the feelings of others. You know when you’re on a flight and the attendant tells you “in the case of an emergency secure your life jacket before helping someone else”...yeah that’s life. Believe what you want, but more often than not people operate in their best interest, and that’s not always a bad thing. I was the queen of wanting everybody to like me, so whatever anyone needed I was making a way to make a way. It didn’t matter if I was losing sleep or money and the most important...MY TIME. It took me a second to learn the power of "no" and to know that saying "no" doesn’t make you a terrible person. You are no good to anyone if you’re running yourself raggedy. Learn to value yourself enough to put yourself first at times.
3. A Mantra: "Bye Ashy, I wish you well."
Alright so this kind of ties into the whole me before you theory. I had an ex that would pop up every so often via call, text, slide in them DM's… and every time he showed up it was like a wolf in freakin' sheep’s clothing. I was always smart enough to never let him casually stroll into my like and shake up my whole world; but every time he popped up he shifted it just a bit. It continued to happen until I really had to look in the mirror and say "Girl, why do you keep picking up the phone?" I think we often fear the evolution of relationships and we feel like we always owe everyone who we've had some level of closeness something....you don't. After I had my come to Jesus I realized it was time to disconnect with this person on all level...yep....cut them snaps off, unfollow that Instagram and delete the number. This doesn’t me you’re evil, or bitter. Allow yourself to let go of the things and people that no longer mean you well, and grow.